Tim Minchin - The Good Book

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1Life is like an ocean voyage and our bodies are the ships
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C2                                    A3            Dm4    Dm/C5
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4And without a moral compass we would all be cast adrift
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      A#6                           F7
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7So to keep us on our bearings, the Lord gave us a gift
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10And like most gifts you get, it was a book
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15I only read one book, but it's a good book, don't you know
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18I act the way I act because the Good Book tells me so
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21If I wanna known how to be good, it's to the Good Book that I go
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24'Cos the Good Book is a book and it is good and it's a book
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28I know the Good Book's good because the Good Book says it's good
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30I know the Good Book knows it's good because a really good book would
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32You wouldn't cook without a cookbook and I think it's understood
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34You can't be good without a Good Book 'cos it's good and it's a book
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36And it is good for cookin'
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41I tried to read some other books, but I soon gave up on that
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    A#22                                 F23              C24
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44The paragraphs ain't numbered and they complicate the facts
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47I can't read Harry Potter 'cos they're worshipping false gods and that
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50And Dumbledore's a poofter and that's bad, 'cos it's not good
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54Morality is written there in simple white and black
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56I feel sorry for you heathens, got to think about all that
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58Good is good and evil's bad and goats are good and pigs are crap
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60You'll find which one is which in the Good Book, 'cos it's good
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62And it's a book, and it's a book
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66I had a cat, she gave birth to a litter
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68The kittens were adorable and they made my family laugh
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70But as they grew they started misbehavin'
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72So I drowned the little fuckers in the bath
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74When the creatures in your care start being menaces
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    G29                                   C30
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77The answers can be found right there in Genesis!
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80Chapter 6, Verse 5-7!
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85Swing your partner by the hand
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88Have a baby if you can
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91But if the voices your head
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95Say to sacrifice your kid
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98To satiate your loving God's
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101Fetish for dead baby blood
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104It's simple faith, the Book demands
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108So raise that knife up in your hand!
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113Before the Good Book made us good, there was no good way to know
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116If a thing was good or not that good or kind of touch and go
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120So God decided he'd give writing allegoric prose a go
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122And so he wrote a book and it was generally well-received
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    A#42                               F43              C44
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127The Telegraph said, "This God is reminiscent of the Norse."
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130The Times said, "Kind of turgid, but I liked the bit with horses."
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133The Mail said, "Lots of massacres, a violent tour de force.
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136If you only read one book this year, then this one is a book
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139And it is good, and it's a book!"
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143Swing your daughter by the hand
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145But if she gets raped by a man
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147And refuses then to marry him
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149Stone her to death!
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154If you just close your eyes and block your ears
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157To the accumulated knowledge of the last two thousand years
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     B58                                   Em59
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160Then morally, guess what? You're off the hook
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163And thank Christ you only have to read one book
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168Just because the book's contents
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171Were written generations hence
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174By hairy desert-dwelling gents
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177Squatting in their dusty tents
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180Just because what Heaven said
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183Was said before they'd leavened bread
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186Just 'cos Jesus couldn't read
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189Doesn't mean that we should need
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192When manipulating human genes
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195To alleviate pain and fight disease
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198When deciding whether it's wrong or right
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201To help the dyin' let go of life
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204Or stop a pregnancy when it's
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208Just a tiny blastocyst
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211There's no reason why we should take a look
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214At any other book
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217But the Good Book
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220'Cause it's good
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224And it's a book
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227And it's a book
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231And it's quite good!
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238Good is good and evil's bad
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241And kids get killed when God gets mad
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244And you'd better take a good look
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       G87            D88 G89
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247At the Good Book
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